How to Restore Trust in a Relationship?
And how to handle betrayal if it has been broken?
If there has been a betrayal or breach of trust in the relationship, and your partner has made a mistake, it is important to rebuild the trust, even if it can be a big challenge that requires both time and resources.
Especially if you need to regain trust after infidelity.
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship and allows us to give and receive love.
When there is trust, we are not afraid to be vulnerable and awkward, and we share our hopes and fears with our partner.
If trust is broken instead, we become hesitant out of fear of the next betrayal or humiliation.
If a partnership is truly valuable, and your love for your partner is deep, trust can be restored.
Moreover, relationships that have survived major conflicts are often stronger.
If you have perhaps tried for many years without success to restore a good and loving relationship, and it is too difficult to handle on your own, it may be time to consider professional help “from the outside,” such as a couples therapist in Frederiksberg or Copenhagen. It could also be online, with the resulting opportunities across the country.
Healthy and strong marriages require a lot of trust, so here are three ways to build (or rebuild) it.
- No secrets
- Recognize the difference between forgiveness and trust
- Do not retaliate
1) No Secrets
In a relationship, big secrets are as dangerous as lies. Your spouse should have a “master key” to all parts of your life. Be completely honest about conversations, meetings, places you have visited, etc. A high degree of transparency is crucial for building trust.
2) Recognize the Difference Between Forgiveness and Trust
Forgiveness and trust are two different things. When you feel betrayed, you can forgive instantly, but trust in each other must be slowly rebuilt. Forgiveness cannot be earned or received, but can only be given. On the other hand, trust must be earned over time.
3) Do Not Retaliate
Once we have been betrayed, we will normally feel the urge to punish those who have wronged us. We want them to feel the pain they have caused us, but this attitude hurts everyone involved and damages trust even more. It is said “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it“.
When you have been betrayed in a relationship, you must give clear and concrete guidelines on how trust can be restored, but not punish the other person.
With restored trust, you can achieve what you want, namely a good and safe relationship.
How to Forgive Betrayal?
You should not forgive others for their sake. You should forgive for your own sake. Being angry and holding a grudge is like picking up glowing coals with your bare hands and throwing them at a person you hate, hoping the coals hit them.
Forgiveness is an action. It is not a feeling.
Forgiveness is not erasing your memory.
Forgiveness is what you say. Not what goes on in your head or heart.
Forgiveness is saying: ”I forgive you. I will never use it against you in the future. I will never speak of it again, either to you or to others.”
Are You Thriving ♥ – or Is the Relationship Painful?
- I can save and improve your relationship quickly and effectively with concrete communication tools and strategies so you can understand each other.
- If the relationship is in chaos with anxiety, anger, confusion, or stress, there may be a need for overview, structure, and firm shared ground rules to create mutual understanding for each other.
- I am a kind of driving instructor who teaches the ”Traffic Rules of Relationships”.
In a way, it’s about both theory, parallel parking, city driving, night driving, and driving on icy roads.
All of this needs to be thoroughly learned before you find your own driving style – also in the relationship!
If you want to find out if I can help you and your partner, please call me at phone +45 – 21 79 18 50
See more articles in English at www.parforhold-parterapi.dk/couples-therapist
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